Pep Talk 29

First of all, here, listen to this.
 

You're 29 years old today, and you don't feel a day over 21. 21 the way it's meant to be experienced. 

You spent a lot of time in your early twenties stuck in a rut, secretly envying your friends, pining for a stupid girl, neglecting your body, and ruining your mind with really bad ideas and really good herbs. When you're young, you want to feel cool. You want to be adored. So you act smarter than you actually are, and waste what little intelligence you have on foolish things like obscure music and indie graphic novels. You have absolutely no control over your desires, so when you don't get what you want, you punish yourself by eating, or smoking, or drinking, or having sex with people you don't really care about. You don't take your job seriously, you don't take your relationships seriously, you stop believing in grace, and you lose all your sense of self-worth.

Thank god you know yourself much better now. You know that old saying, "know thyself"? I just realized how important it really is to know yourself. Because who you are isn't just some strange face that comes to you every time you look in a mirror. Your thoughts are not some drug haze coughed up by another dimension. They are in this bag of flesh, and they affect the fabric of reality in more ways than you can comprehend. You matter. You are a definite animal who likes videogames and hates cats. You're lazy, but you're working on that. You want to lose 70 pounds of fat so that you can finally stop hiding what a stud you really are. Because you used to be afraid of being desired. Because you didn't want to be who you are. Because you hated the things that went around you and you couldn't do anything about it so you thought it would be better to be someone else. But that never fixes anything. You learned that the hard way. You had to face all your demons. And you're struggling to catch up to what other people have known. That you are someone who deserves to be loved.

So I am going to tell you this, Me. This is something I realized I should have told you a long time ago. I love you. And I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I care enough about you, and show you that I don't want you to fade away. Chin up kiddo. It isn't over yet. Whatever happens, stop eating those damn chocolates.